Wednesday, May 4, 2016

For all the quirky, fussy, hilarious moms out there, bless their hearts

My mom is funny.  At 86 years she is the only person I know who prefers a store bought cookie to a homemade one, packaged white bread to a fresh loaf, and a drive thru hamburger to one right off my grill. She likes veggies that come in a can but won't eat a tomato that isn't homegrown. She is highly suspicious of any lettuce that is not iceberg and only eats dressing that comes in a bottle with a photo of a happy farm on it. She is not a very good everyday cook, but makes the most amazing stuffing at Thanksgiving and the drop dead best meatloaf in the world.

She wears exclusively one brand of separates and is currently having a feud with Macy's as they are phasing it out of their stores. She seems to think the clerks have some control over this (and that they care) and corners them any chance she gets so she can quiz them about where they have hidden the clothes, because she knows they are in a back room somewhere. She has every suit she ever wore to work (even though she retired in 1988), along with the matching heels she will never wear again.

She is a voracious reader and downloads books from Amazon by the dozen. She owns 2 Kindles and when they run out of juice, she reads books on her iPad. She says that she is going to cut down on her reading but knows she won't. She fully embraces technology, loves email and texting, gets impatient with people her age who claim they are just too old to learn how to do that, but yells NO THANK YOU and STOP ASKING ME THAT at Siri when she offers to help her.

She is a stacker and any flat surface is likely to hold 3 or more weeks worth of mail, countless notepads, pens, lists and whatever else she is worried that if she puts away will be lost forever. She keeps every receipt and every tag off of every product she buys along with the original packaging.  She is a slapdash gardener who is always surprised when the plants she waters religiously the first week, then ignores, die. She leaves their sad, dried remains in their hanging baskets and asks me regularly if I think they are coming back to life.

She loves Days of Our Lives, The Walking Dead and reruns of The Golden Girls.  She doesn't trust restaurants whose menus don't have photos of the food and is shocked when what she orders isn't as pictured.  She once sent my daughter's pancakes back 3 times until they exactly matched the cat with ears shown on the children's menu.

I adore my mom even though...or maybe because...she regularly drives me bonkers.  She is this quirky, cranky, often hilarious woman who is shrinking before my eyes and who I sometimes cannot bear to be around for more than 10 minutes, bless her heart.

But she is my mom...and I wouldn't trade her for any other Mom around.

5 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Thanks! She drives me nuts, but I probably do the same to my daughter. Sue

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  2. Your mom looks GREAT for 86! My mom often drives me crazy too, but she's 91 on Saturday and I'm glad she's still here to celebrate her birthday! Great tribute to your mom. Inspires me to write one to hand to my mom on her birthday!

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  3. She wears her age well, doesn't she? I am hopeful I'll do the same. We are both so lucky to have our moms with us, aren't we? So many of my friends do not. Thanks for reading, Sue

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  4. I loved this one too! Your mom looks great for 86! I read this one to my hubby too...my gosh...he is exactly like your mom for saving the receipts, lists, notepads, & original packaging. Drives me nuts. BTW, found you from the linky on Vintage Charm.

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